Implants

In my late twenties and new in town, I’m completing the obligatory first-timers paperwork in a doctor’s office. I circle yes or no to the usual questions, turn in the clipboard and return to my seat.

After a minute or so, I am asked to approach the reception desk.

I circled ‘yes’ after “Have you ever had implants?” and added “1990-2003” on the paper.

Scrub Divas wanted answers.

With a shrug of my shoulders and a pat on my back for honesty, I said, “the novelty wore off and I was pretty much done with them”.

I suddenly witness simultaneous head-tilt-with-a-smile faces on four soccer-mommyesque medical assistants.

I can’t remember what happened next, but eventually it was concluded that I misunderstood the question and we all shared a room full of laughter.




The doctor I was visiting was a dentist.