It’s no secret we all want to measure up in the sack. We fantasize about being told we’re the best and no one could possibly compare. The truth is while most of us aim for fireworks, sometimes the chemistry just isn’t right and we end up with sparklers. While sparklers are fun, they don’t make for a rockin’ Fourth of July. Fakers wouldn’t dare complain about sparklers because, really, who wants to ruin a perfectly good holiday?
We suffer low self-esteem
Psychological studies show that codependent women have a higher percentage rate of faking it than any other type of personality. This is due to the fact that we not only want to please our lovers, but we are willing to give up on our own pleasure to do so.
I grew up with low self-esteem and as a result, was a codependent lover. I used to think if I can make him believe he’s really rocking my world, he’ll really want me - which is sad when you think about it. The funny thing is, those one-night-stands always fled and probably could care less if I faked it or not.
We love you
In my thirties, I settled down with a great man. He was smart and funny and we had undeniable chemistry. While I found myself faking it less and less, I still threw the occasional oh yes! in the mix when I knew it just wasn’t going to happen. So why did I pull the wool over my loving man’s eyes? I loved him too much to let him believe he wasn’t the best. The problem was, I didn’t love myself enough to talk with him about the missing piece of our love puzzle.
Breaking the cycle
Years ago, after my love affair with Puzzle Man, I discovered something about myself. Through therapy and learning I was worthy, I finally believed it. This new self assurance transcended to the bedroom and I never looked back.
It’s been years since I’ve lived in the land of fakers, and I am happy to share my experiences. Let it be known, there are many reasons women fake it, and lovers, some may not have anything to do with you.