Sabotage, Party of One

Last night was the Gay Super bowl. A night to see and be seen in Hollywood. And if you weren't as lucky as my BGF (Best Gay Friend), Joey - who I kept seeing on TV - you enjoyed the Oscars in your living room while toasting the fashion and your favorite movies and actors.

I don't even need to see the nominated films to really get in to the fantasy of it all. Not only do I enjoy losing myself in the glamour, I love it when someone gets the award and truly wasn't expecting it. The look of sheer joy (and shock) makes my heart melt. And yes, I tear up. Every. Single. Time.

Like most people, Sunday's are my day to chill. After a long sleep-in-snuggle-fest with my pillow, I stroll to the market for groceries so I can later prep my lunches for the work week. Well, because of Oscarpolooza,
 I kicked those plans to the curb and made what food I already had in the house. I also started raising my glass during the red carpet footage while it was still light out.

Being a recovering addict, I am fully aware drinking wine is not the smartest thing for me to do. Although alcohol is not my drug of choice, it is still, in fact, a mind altering chemical. In typical Scorpio fashion, I still enjoy a glass or two with dinner or a hot bath at the end of a stressful day. It could be worse. I could be trolling Craigslist for Vicodin and Xanax.

So I stick with red wine, meditation and exercise to keep my stress at bay. I hope you still love me, Dr. Drew.

Another great stress reliever for me is sleep. I need at least eight full hours of blissful slumber in order to function well. Last night I managed to get only five. I can blame it on the Oscar post coverage, or the free flowing wine, but really, it's all on me. I manage to self-sabotage often. It's funny, because the one thing I know will help me is the very thing I keep myself from attaining. I have to laugh to keep from crying. Needless to say, I'm a zombie at work today.

Please tell me you have self-sabotage behaviors too. Anonymous comments welcome.